Residents of St Tropez are threatening to blocade the town because of the incessant noise from private helicopters bearing footballers and film stars. We get a lot of this in Kennington, except they are police helicopters circling above (more annoying than swooping back and forth) looking for thieves and muggers. Once or twice we've had stun grenade explosions too, like when the local Rasta temple was raided last year. So I'm with the residents of St Tropez on this one. But here there is a solution. When the cricket is on in the Oval a stately, but utterly silent, mini airship futs across the sky, with less commotion than a small manual lawnmower. Why not have a few permanently positioned over south east London? After all, that's what the US military has planned for Third World cities.