I'm one of the great undecideds, Laura. 

Ooh! 

One minute I'm saying maybe the Greens. Then I'm saying, no — the LibDem man who everyone loves — with the Spanish wife... 

She seems a tough cookie...Did you watch the debates?

God no.

What's the point?

Right... Of course there's Labour.

No.

So then I'm back with the Tories again... It's all very well — but so what if SamCam's got a bun in the oven? 

Why should that make any difference?

Right. 

She looked gorgeous, didn't she? In that blue dress. With the belt. Did you see?

Did I see? Stunning. 

Wasn't so keen on the jeans and Converse combo...

Hopeless. Don't know WHO that was supposed to appeal to.

Mumsnet, probably.

What?

They're calling it the Mumsnet election.

I find that rather insulting. As if we were just "Mum" and ergo sum, totally clueless.

Very insulting. 

So one minute I'm going for Sam and Dave...Then I think...What do they stand for? 

Family values?

I don't know.

I don't know what any of them stands for. 

Nobody does. Nobody knows.

What do they stand for? 

It's bloody boring, isn't it? Honestly. 

Oh! I hear the word "general election". And I switch off.